Wednesday, December 21, 2005

how to win friends and influence people

Self help books bother me. My stepdad has read many, and is very successful in his career, so maybe they work or maybe he's just really good at what he does anyway. Ok maybe it's not the books themselves that bother me, but the people that read them and follow their instructions literally and obviously in their day to day interactions with other people.

Don't you think I notice when you're making an effort to use my name at least 3 times while we're having a conversation? It's so irritatingly obvious that you're trying to make some kind of impact on me that will separate you from the rest. Well guess what? You come off as a try hard doofus who can't hold a real conversation without employing someone else's lame self-sales tactics. So yeah I guess you are setting yourself apart from the others. You're in your own lame league.

Also, don't fake that you are incredibly interested in my life and what I'm passionate about. I know you don't really care and it's just going in one ear and out the other or into your mental library which you'll reference methodically next time we meet.

It just bothers me so much that we have this stupid system where people strive to behave like this and use interpersonal relationships as some kind of currency.


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11:01 AM  
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12:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you know what bothers me? when pessimism masquerades as profundity. Perhaps there are those insincere folks whose application of 'technique' is raw and untrained and it shows. But how hard is it to connect, really connect with people? Shouldn't ther effort and intention count for something? life is too short to cynically discount people. cause it's those moments when you're rolling your eyes at whatever, well maybe that person does care. Does that scare You?

5:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If U r scared? Maybe you should read The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker.

1:10 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

yes, yes it does.

9:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

that's it? that's all u have to say? i was hoping for more....

2:26 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

I'd like to think I can tell if they really care or not. I'm talking about the obvious salespeople who are doing this for their own personal gain. I'm not talking about just getting to know someone because you are generally interested. As far as me being afraid, well that's another story.

I also think I know who you are!

3:24 PM  

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